Nine

The idea of caring about someone who doesn't care back, used to baffle me. Now that I have someone to do that with, I've started to question the universal ideas that if you put energy into caring about someone they are entitled to care back. If you think about it this is a rather self revolved idea. Shouldn't the point of caring about someone be just that; To care about them? Instead people have turned caring about someone into caring so they will care back. Everyone wants that feeling of being cared about, so yes. I feel this "caring to get care" is what people strive for. But I'm thinking that is that truly caring? With M I found out that he didn't care about me. Then I left. I told him I couldn't be friends with someone who didn't care about me. I knew he was using me and I know he is still using me to feel loved. However now it's different. Caring about him isn't about receiving care in return like it used to be. It's more selfless. I genuinely want the best for him and I would sacrifice a lot for him. Including the fact that it does still kinda hurt that he doesn't care back. (No matter how irrational that is in this argument). And maybe some day he won't use me. But it doesn't really matter what he does/thinks of me as long as I can increase the positive in his life. This goes for everyone I truly care about. This is what caring about someone is. Not looking for or expecting anything in return for the care you choose to place in the person. Caring is not circumstantial.