Two

I've been thinking about how looks play into relationships a lot lately. In the 8th grade I remember remarking to my best friend about how absolutely petty I was. I said I would never be able to date a guy unless he was hot. Looking back on 8th grade, I remember how lonely I was. I barely talked to anyone, and I never talked unless I was talked to. I was so insecure. I cut my hair to look like all the other girls, and I bought low cut name brand clothes. So in all honestly I looked pretty good (for an 8th grader at least). Yet I still had no one to talk to. People didn't dislike me, they just wouldn't go out of their way to talk to me. I never said anything real. I spent a lot of time reevaluating the few things I did say. I had no confidence at all, what people thought of me was the most important thing.

Back then and up until about the summer after my 10th grade year, when I still cared what others thought of me, I honestly felt the need for the guys I dated to be pretty attractive. I never even considered, or felt anything toward guys not considered attractive. Now that I have complete confidence in who I am, I don't care what others think of what I do or say. And with that apparently comes not really giving a shit what who i date looks like. Yes, I still have a few personal standards, such as, I am not likely attracted to someone overweight, but that's just my genes. Other than that all the socially applauded features don't matter. Now, liking someone, for me, has to do with how well I get along, and enjoy the other person.  

I'm not at all saying that I don't enjoy seeing an attractive male, and if that guy happens to be the one I get along with and fall for, then great! But that's not how it HAS to be anymore. 

I'm not sure if seeing past social standards for who I date is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that I surprised myself when I realized that Me, of all people came to be like this.